How to Be a Tennis Player

Congrats newly minted tennis player! You’ve decided to enter the wonderful world of tennis and become the top player in the world! Here are five easy-to-follow steps on how to be a tennis player. These five steps are guaranteed to make you the best tennis player in the world and give you pure awesomeness.

1. Don’t even consider getting a racquet. If you were one of the tennis players silly enough to purchase a racquet, you’d be putting yourself and others in danger and you could save a whole lot of money! You run the risk of hitting yourself in the shin or foot or even head if you get a racquet and it hurts! Not to mention, when you run around on the court and scrape your racquet on the ground to get a ball, your racquet gets banged up and strings break. Fixing these kinds of things can be expensive and you save the money by skipping out on a racquet.

2. Sportsmanship and honesty are not key. Some coaches and players say that having the right attitude and sportsmanship will get you far in sports. But you came to win didn’t you? So this means that lying will get you as far as you want to go. You need the point to get closer to win the game or even the match so use your best poker face and make it your call. If the ball hits the line or is even a little inside, call it out! You need the point! And at the end of the match when you go to shake your opponents hands don’t even think about it because you’re obviously much better than them.

3. “Are you sure?” needs to be the mostly commonly spoken words you use on the court. When your opponent makes a call you need to question them every time. This works well to get into their heads and manipulate them. Wouldn’t want your opponent making the wrong call right?

4. What you wear is very important. To catch the attention of recruiters and scouts and even other players, you want to wear the flashiest outfit you possibly can. This means neon colors, sequins, and very happy bright thoughts are words on shirts, if you are wearing one. Make sure to always mention who your outfit was worn by like Sharapova, or Nadal, or the Williams sisters, or Djokovic. This makes your outfit seem more fancy and expensive. Wearing something bright and flashy can also distract your opponent on sunny days. You’re a walking disco ball!

5. During water breaks after a game, take your time.  Go ahead and sit down relax and drink your water to stay hydrated. You need the time to get prepared for the next game and beat your opponent. Also, if you need to get your legs and arms massaged, now is the time to prevent cramping. This time can also be used to grab a quick snack and keep your stomach happy.

How to Be a Tennis Player

Good luck to you, tennis players! By using these tips, you’ll strive in your tennis career and be known by many internationally. Have fun and are you sure?