Feeling Lonely

lonely
Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

I go home a lot of weekends but I decided to stay at school this weekend to work on a group exam for one of my classes and something I’ve dealt with a lot this past week has been loneliness. Something that I’ve really had a chance to experience this past semester and this semester so far has been a lot of alone time. Sometimes I’ve found that feeling lonely is ok and sometimes it feels refreshing to be on my own. Other times, it doesn’t feel so good and I know I’m not the only person that feels this way, especially as we navigate this pandemic.

From time to time, as I said earlier, it feels really good to be by yourself. You have only you and your own thoughts to occupy yourself with. You have time to focus on you and you alone. You have time to take care of yourself and maybe really focus on something that needs to be finished.

Other times, feeling lonely makes you really sad. Even if you talk over text or the phone, it isn’t the same as truly interacting in person with another person. Something this pandemic has done is isolate people, whether you like that or not. We are farther apart from our friends and extended families. We are unable to interact in ways we have in the past. And even if you get a chance to be with others for some time, that time is so short in comparison to the time that you are by yourself.

Sometimes when I’m lonely, I feel like get in my head way too much. My insecurities take over and that makes me feel really yucky inside. I know that sometimes it’s okay to be sad but lately, I haven’t liked the feelings that loneliness brings up. To cheer myself up and feel less lonely, it really does help to talk to someone on the phone, even if you aren’t seeing each other face to face. It’s at least some form of interaction and I’m able to get some feelings and thoughts out of my head. I’ve also found it helpful to go for walks and workout. That’s a way to naturally make yourself more happy and free. I’ve found that trying to busy myself when I’m feeling lonely by cleaning or doing homework is only really ever a distraction and doesn’t work well for me. I might get stuff done but it doesn’t make me feel better often.

I await the day that classes are back in person completely. I wait for the days where we can meet with family and friends without much of a worry. I know these days will come soon and that there will be good things ahead for all of us. If you’re ever feeling lonely, don’t hesitate to reach out. You’re most definitely not alone. Have a good week and I’ll see you all next weekend.

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