For the second half of my first semester this school year, my language arts class read Hamlet by Shakespeare. One of our assignments was to translate Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” soliloquy into something relatable and understandable. I chose to translate mine into “To eat or not to eat” and here it is. Enjoy!
To eat or not to eat -that is the question:
Whether ’tis more delicious to eat pizza
And have a happy stomach,
Or stay away from all the food,
And feel the pain of hunger.
To wait, for your order to be ready-
No more – and by waiting to say I face
The wonderful sights and smells
That each food holds-
‘Tis a situation
I want my food.
To be happy, to eat-
To eat, perhaps too long. Ay, there’s the problem.
For in overeating there comes suffering and stomach aches
When we wait at the microwave for our food
Must make us stop and think.
That’s the idea
That makes disaster of not eating or eating too much.
For who really wants to be without breakfast,
Those delicious Belgian waffles,
The many options for a wonderful lunch,
The disappointment in long lines and waits,
The early dinner that leaves you hungry the rest of the night,
The overly salted soft pretzel at the big game,
And the desperate looks
That starved people have been waiting for their meals,
When they too may feast
On days free from any worries?
Who would heed the large menu,
To decide and eat whatever they desire,
But that the horror that their stomachs may growl and food be cold,
The unknown foods that have yet to be eaten which
Food critics discuss
While we stand in a puzzled daze,
Wishing we had eaten much less
Instead of seeking the extra piece of cake?
Thus the chance of missing out does make food-lovers of us all,
And thus the enjoyment of food so precious
Is tainted by eye-opening thoughts of lost news,
And wonderful moments at Chipotle and Wendy’s
With this regard their paths are cut short
And those the sufferers of stomach aches favor of those who haven’t eaten.